What are your favorite Ellen movie quotes?

Mrs. Ashboro's Cat, Wilby Wonderful, Marion Bridge & Co
User avatar

Topic author
Glee Plane
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 504
Joined: Aug 15, 2010 4:16 am
Location: D.C.
Status: Offline

Sep 02, 2010 12:45 am

I thought it would be great if we could relive some of the best lines delivered by Ellen. Here are some of my favorites:

Hard Candy: "4 out of 5 doctors agree that I am actually insane"

Juno: "Should have gone to China. I hear that they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much put them into those T-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events." :laugh:

Inception: "That's some subconscious you've got Cobb! She's a real charmer!"
Image
User avatar

JimH
Benefactor
Benefactor
Posts: 666
Joined: Sep 08, 2009 2:55 am
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: Offline

Sep 02, 2010 1:56 am

Hard Candy:
I guess they... errr... weren't brass.
:shocked:
Each moment is an opportunity to make a fresh start. (Pema Chodron)
User avatar

HeartHer
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 761
Joined: Jul 20, 2010 10:26 am
Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Status: Offline

Sep 02, 2010 3:12 am

JimH wrote:Hard Candy:
I guess they... errr... weren't brass.
:shocked:
That.

Juno:
"I'm not asking for anything... except maybe mercy! Like it would be frickin sweet if no one hit me."

(response to "Who is the kid?") "The baby I-I don't really know anything about it... I mean... it has fingernails!"
"Fingernails? Really?" *nods*
"No! I mean who is the father Juno?"
"Oh it's... Paulie Bleeker..."
"...Paulie Bleeker?"
"What?"
"Didn't think he had it in him... "
"I know right!"
"Right this is no laughing matter."
"No it isn't. And actually Paulie's great in..."
"Ok."
"In chair."

"Yeah can I use the facilities cuz being pregnant makes me pee like Seabiscuit."

"I figured I'd just nip it in the bud, before it gets worse. Because they were talking about in health class how pregnancy... it can often lead... to... an infant."

"I need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever."

Basically every line spoken in Juno, genius writing by Diablo Cody and perfect delivery by Ellen.

Smart People:
"What's it like to be... like... stupid?..."
"What's it like sitting by yourself at lunch everyday?"
"... It sucks."

Whip It:
"I'm gonna puke!"

(to make Pash puke) "...Pash... you ever thought... about your parents making love... your dad's naked body..."

Hard Candy:
(in response to "So your mom's whacked too huh?") "I dunno. There's that whole nature versus nurture question, isn't it? Was I born a cute, vindictive, little bitch or did society make me that way? I go back and forth on that." from Hard Candy

"....Or not." from Hard Candy

The Tracey Fragments:
"Exhibit B: My mother. She is too busy to talk to me, she smokes three packs a day and getting her away from the TV is a surgical procedure." from The Tracey Fragments

I have tons of favorites, I just had to pick out some :D . Love about 100% of what comes out of her mouth. I'd start quoting Regenesis and interviews too but those are TV so I'm gonna keep it shorter and exclude those.
User avatar

JerseyDevil65
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 669
Joined: May 02, 2009 1:30 am
Location: New Jersey
Status: Offline

Sep 02, 2010 3:23 am

Smart People: What? You're adopted, its not like its biblical.

Hard Candy: You keep telling yourself that, stud.
Image
User avatar

GiveHimTheKick
Knows all movies
Knows all movies
Posts: 408
Joined: Jul 22, 2010 3:28 pm
Status: Offline

Sep 02, 2010 1:46 pm

Tracey Fragments: "When a horse falls, foam comes out of its mouth. When it falls, the legs of the horse thrash and the horse is no good. So somebody shoots it. The horse turns into glue. A machine puts the glue into bottles. Children squeeze the bottles to get the glue out and stick bits of paper onto cards. Glue gets on the children's hands and the children eat the glue. And the children become the horse."

"My name is Tracey Berkowitz, 15, just a normal girl who hates herself."

Whip It: Razor: "You have to be..."
Bliss (interrupting) : "Ruthless."

Juno: "No it's Morgan Freeman, do you have any bones that need collecting."

"I don't know it hasn't seasoned yet."

"He is the cheese to my macaroni."

"My axe is named Roosevelt, after Franklin, you know the hot one with polio."

Hard Candy: "I f*cking hate Goldfrapp."

There's more trust me, but I'd be here all day.
In the country dead bodies live in swamps and ditches and shallow graves. A man dumps the body of a girl in a ditch. The body rotts melts into slime. Flowers pop up where the body lies, seeds fly out of the flowers and a bee sucks the flowers and makes honey. Then the family of the girl buys the honey from the store. And the family eats the girl.
User avatar

Topic author
Glee Plane
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 504
Joined: Aug 15, 2010 4:16 am
Location: D.C.
Status: Offline

Sep 02, 2010 2:40 pm

An American Crime: "Every situation God always has a plan. I guess I'm still trying to figure out what that plan was."

Inception:
Arthur: "There's nothing quite like it."
Ariadne: "It's...Pure creation."
Image

Centrum Vitamins
Status: Offline

Sep 02, 2010 9:04 pm

Glee Plane wrote:An American Crime: "Every situation God always has a plan. I guess I'm still trying to figure out what that plan was."

Inception:
Arthur: "There's nothing quite like it."
Ariadne: "It's...Pure creation."
This:
Arthur: "Quick, give me a kiss"
*Kiss*, Ariadne: "They're still looking at us..."
Arthur: "Yeah...It was worth a shot"

Haha, sorry to steal this from you Glee Place :P
User avatar

HeartHer
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 761
Joined: Jul 20, 2010 10:26 am
Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Status: Offline

Sep 03, 2010 12:26 am

Just one to add, yet another from Juno. Full discussion actually not so much of a quote.

Paulie: Hi!
Juno: Hi.
Hey, did you put like a hundred things of Tic Tacs in my mailbox?
Juno: Oh, yeah that was me.
Paulie: Why?
Juno: Well you know they're your fave and you can never have too many of your favorite one calorie breath mints so...
Paulie: Well thanks I uhhh I think I'm pretty much set until college on the Tic Tac front.
Juno: Ya know Bleek I was just thinking, and I'm sorry I was such a huge bitch to you, you don't deserve it.
Paulie: It's ok. Ya know, it's ok.
Juno: And also um... I think I'm in love with you...
Paulie: You mean as friends?
Juno: No. I mean for real. Cuz you're like... the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try ya know?
Paulie: I try really hard actually...
Juno: You're like naturally smart... and you're not like everyone else. You don't stare at my stomach all the time you look at my face. And every time I see you the baby starts kicking super hard.
Paulie: Really? *Juno puts his hand on her stomach* Ha... Wizard.
Juno: I think it's cuz my heart starts pounding every time I see you.
Paulie: Mine too.
Juno: That's all I can ask for really... golden man.
Paulie:... Can we make out now?
Juno:... Yeah. *make out "So Nice So Smart" one of the best songs ever starts in the background*
Leah: Hey ya know you could go into early labor sucking face like that! *Juno flips her off*

Easily my favorite scene in any movie ever, and the beginning of my favorite ending ever (seriously that, the birth, and the ending scene might be my 3 favorite scenes all back to back). I wish I could see them for the first time again. Even after an absurd number of viewings I still tear up while "Anyone Else But You" is playing (both times actually so twice... oh and while "Sea of Love" plays so make it 3 ;-) ).
User avatar

Topic author
Glee Plane
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 504
Joined: Aug 15, 2010 4:16 am
Location: D.C.
Status: Offline

Sep 06, 2010 5:15 pm

I have another Inception one:

Cobb: Never recreate places from your memory. Always imagine new places.
Ariadne: You have to draw from stuff you know right?
Cobb: Only use details, like a streetlamp, phone booth. Never entire areas.
Ariadne: Why not?
Cobb: Because building dreams out of your own memories is the surest way to lose your grasp on what is real and what is a dream.
Ariadne: Is that what happened to you?
Cobb: Look, this isn’t about me!
Ariadne: Is that why you need me to build your dreams?
*Crowd of people converge on Ariadne*
Cobb: Leave her alone.
*Mal emerges from the crowd, quickly approaching Ariadne, with knife in hand*
Ariadne: “WAKE ME UP! WAKE ME UP!”

One of my favorite scenes. The true importance of the Ariadne-Cobb relationship is established and the movie as a whole ratcheted up another level.
Image
User avatar

GiveHimTheKick
Knows all movies
Knows all movies
Posts: 408
Joined: Jul 22, 2010 3:28 pm
Status: Offline

Sep 06, 2010 5:42 pm

One of my favourite quotes isn't even a quote from 'Hard Candy', just the look she gives Jeff. It's the moment when he first wakes up tied to the chair and asks her to stop and she just stares in a very sociopathic and amazingly unstable way. Really makes the movie.
In the country dead bodies live in swamps and ditches and shallow graves. A man dumps the body of a girl in a ditch. The body rotts melts into slime. Flowers pop up where the body lies, seeds fly out of the flowers and a bee sucks the flowers and makes honey. Then the family of the girl buys the honey from the store. And the family eats the girl.
User avatar

JerseyDevil65
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 669
Joined: May 02, 2009 1:30 am
Location: New Jersey
Status: Offline

Sep 06, 2010 7:46 pm

Whip It: I can grow the balls.
Image
User avatar

HeartHer
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 761
Joined: Jul 20, 2010 10:26 am
Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Status: Offline

Sep 06, 2010 9:37 pm

JerseyDevil65 wrote:Whip It: I can grow the balls.
:laugh: Forgot that one, I was cracking up at how awkward it sounded. Also this:

*Bliss drops Pash when she sees Oliver*

Bliss: It's him... what should I do?
Pash: Ask him if he wants a squealer.

That just struck me as one of the funniest lines in the movie.


GiveHimTheKick wrote:One of my favourite quotes isn't even a quote from 'Hard Candy', just the look she gives Jeff. It's the moment when he first wakes up tied to the chair and asks her to stop and she just stares in a very sociopathic and amazingly unstable way. Really makes the movie.
That was one damn intimidating stare, but the best quote to go with is:

"Play time is over Geoff. Now it's time to wake up."
User avatar

UCFRdWarrior
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 2129
Joined: Nov 16, 2008 4:20 am
Location: Florida
Status: Offline

Sep 09, 2010 7:35 am

Drat...all the good ones taken....see what happens when you miss a few days being sick :D .

So many great quotes from Ellen's movies. Of course, quite a few from Juno....but some great ones from her other films (the "ask him if he wants a squealer" was awesome from Whip It) . Great thread...still fun to read :)
Image
User avatar

GiveHimTheKick
Knows all movies
Knows all movies
Posts: 408
Joined: Jul 22, 2010 3:28 pm
Status: Offline

Sep 09, 2010 5:39 pm

Has anyone taken:

Juno: "Because they said in health class, pregnancy usually leads to an infant."
Bleeker: "Yeah, that's what happens to our mums and teachers."

?
In the country dead bodies live in swamps and ditches and shallow graves. A man dumps the body of a girl in a ditch. The body rotts melts into slime. Flowers pop up where the body lies, seeds fly out of the flowers and a bee sucks the flowers and makes honey. Then the family of the girl buys the honey from the store. And the family eats the girl.
User avatar

HeartHer
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 761
Joined: Jul 20, 2010 10:26 am
Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Status: Offline

Sep 09, 2010 7:20 pm

GiveHimTheKick wrote:Has anyone taken:

Juno: "Because they said in health class, pregnancy usually leads to an infant."
Bleeker: "Yeah, that's what happens to our mums and teachers."

?
Yeah I did :longtongue: .
User avatar

GiveHimTheKick
Knows all movies
Knows all movies
Posts: 408
Joined: Jul 22, 2010 3:28 pm
Status: Offline

Sep 09, 2010 7:23 pm

DAMN YOU! :whatever:

Ok, try this one:

"You used the same phrases about Goldfrapp as Amazon.com."
In the country dead bodies live in swamps and ditches and shallow graves. A man dumps the body of a girl in a ditch. The body rotts melts into slime. Flowers pop up where the body lies, seeds fly out of the flowers and a bee sucks the flowers and makes honey. Then the family of the girl buys the honey from the store. And the family eats the girl.
User avatar

HeartHer
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 761
Joined: Jul 20, 2010 10:26 am
Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Status: Offline

Sep 09, 2010 7:24 pm

GiveHimTheKick wrote:DAMN YOU! :whatever:

Ok, try this one:

"You used the same phrases about Goldfrapp as Amazon.com."
"Busted"
User avatar

Topic author
Glee Plane
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 504
Joined: Aug 15, 2010 4:16 am
Location: D.C.
Status: Offline

Sep 09, 2010 8:23 pm

Ariadne: "Cobb, you might have convinced the rest of this team to carry on with the job, but they don't know the truth."
Cobb: "What truth?"
Ariadne: "The truth that at any minute you might bring a FREIGHT TRAIN through the wall. The truth that Mal is BURSTING up through your subconscious. The truth that as we deeper into Fischer, we're also going deeper into you...And I'm not sure we're going to like what we find down there."
Image
User avatar

HeartHer
Must be a Haligonian
Must be a Haligonian
Posts: 761
Joined: Jul 20, 2010 10:26 am
Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Status: Offline

Sep 10, 2010 6:27 am

Watched Juno on my day off school, that's 8 times in 2 months now. Caught a conversation that I couldn't leave out, as usual there are about 7 great Ellen lines in it so I have to do the WHOLE thing. If you catch any errors let me know I did it from memory so I prolly screwed up somewhere:

Juno: Couldn't do it Leah! It smelled like a dentist's office in there, a-a-and there were these horrible magazines with water stains, and the receptionist was trying to get me to take these condoms that look like grape suckers and just babbling away about her freaking boyfriend's pie balls.
Leah: Ooo-hoo yum!
Juno: And then Su-Chin was there. Yeah, and she was like "Oh hi. Babies have fingernails!" FINGERNAILS."
Leah: That's gruesome you think the baby could all like scratch your vag on the way...
Juno: I'm staying pregnant Leah.
Leah: Dude you've gotta keep your voice down my mom's inside she doesn't know that we're sexually active!
Juno: Ugh what does that even mean?... I was thinking I could like have this baby and give it to someone who like totally needs it, like a woman with a bum ovary or a couple nice lesbos.
Leah: You should try the Pennysaver!
Juno: They have ads for parents in the Pennysaver?
Leah: Ye-ah! Desperately seeking spawn! Right next to like terriers and used fitness equipment, it's like totally legit!
*in park*
Leah: Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true happiness with each other, awww, all that's missing is your bastard.
Juno: I want a parakeet.
Leah: Juno you're totally not even listening to me!
Juno: No I am but I don't wanna give the baby to a family that describes themselves as wholesome, ya know I want something a little more edgier.
Leah: Ok well what do you have in mind?
Juno: Well I was thinking more like, graphic designer, mid thirties, you know with a cool Asian girllfriend who like dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass guitar, but ya know I don't wanna be too particular.
Leah: Oooook.

Annnd more while I'm at it.

Paulie: I still have your underwear.
Juno: I *snickers*, still have your virginity. (had to add the snicker, it loses effect without it :laugh: )

Mac: And this of course is Juno.
Mark: Oh like the city in Alaska.
Juno: No.
Mark: No? Okay...

Vanessa: Hi! I'm Vanessa. You must be Juno and Mr. Macguff... it's Vanessa.
Juno: It's... Vanessa right?

Juno: *about her biological mom* Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, "Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.

Juno: Yeah and I mean Zeus had tons of lays but I'm pretty sure Juno was his only wife. And apparently she was supposed to be like really beautiful but really mean, like Diana Ross.
Mark: Well that suits you.
Juno:... Thanks? (how'd this not get mentioned yet?)

Juno: Sh-she gave you... your own room in... in your whole house? For... for your stuff? Wow, she's got you on a long leash there, Mark!

God love so many lines in that movie, I'll probably have the whole damn script written here soon. As I said before the script was great but what made it was how pretty much everybody delivered the lines perfectly, particularly Ellen, but everyone really nailed their role, especially J.K. Simmons and Michael Cera. Jennifer Garner was great too but seemed almost too high strung... but I suppose that was Vanessa's character so a good job from her too. Doesn't hurt that Ellen was, for lack of a better word, unbelievably cute as Juno :loveblind: . The writing had a huge part in it, but the physical aspect of it, particularly Ellen and Michael were perfect as their appearances pretty much perfectly matched their personalities. I can't say a line from the movie without picturing their faces and gestures.

Enough gushing, this isn't a Juno review. Sorry I just talk so much about it every single time I see it. To slightly distract from the Juno gushing, here is a Hard Candy quote I can't believe hasn't been done yet:

Jeff: Look, look. I've been lonely, okay? And that makes me stupid, but I am not a pedophile... Look, this is some horrible mistake. Just untie me now and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened. Just untie me now!
Hayley: Okay, well you know what? I am not lonely and therefore not stupid. If I untie you, you might understandably be a little peeved. So when I am ready to go, I'll call a cab and call another one to let you loose.
User avatar

x-must
EP - Beginner
EP - Beginner
Posts: 62
Joined: Aug 09, 2010 10:29 pm
Status: Offline

Sep 10, 2010 10:26 am

I like that, from "The Tracey Fragments":

Mr. Berkowitz: Raped. Murdered. Is that what you want?
Tracey: Yeah...
Mr. Berkowitz: Yeah what?
Tracey: Yeah to rape. yeah to murdered.
Mrs. Berkowitz: What kind of psychiatrist is she going do?
Mr. Berkowitz: That's it, you're grounded. One month.
Tracey: Oh, come on. That's not fair.
Mr. Berkowitz: Who says life's fair? It wouldn't kill you to stay inside.
Tracey: Yeah. Yeah it would actually.
Mrs. Berkowitz: What do we do with her?
Mr. Berkowitz: Look what you're doing to mommy. Two months. Grounded.
Tracey: Come on, that's ridiculous. You can't just do that.
Mr. Berkowitz: We just did it.
Tracey: You know, you've got a lot of work to do.
Mr. Berkowitz: Wh-what? Is that the kind of crap your psychiatrist is teaching you?. I want to phone that b****. That is over. We're not paying for that shit anymore.
Tracey: We don't even pay for it. The freaking government pays for it.
Mr. Berkowitz: That's is it. Three months. Grounded. Yeah... Go watch your brother

:) :) :)
hey
Locked